Grieving Process

Yesterday was the first of two really bad days for me. My mother passed away on the 4th of July last year, and yesterday was her birthday. Since it had been the first one I expected some feelings of depression and my O.C.D to do a complete freak out.
Which is did, my house is now clean, my laundry is completely done and my winter clothes are starting to be put away.

When I lost my mother it was very hard for me to remember anything about her right away, I couldn't remember my favorite memory, or her scent or even the last things I said to her. THAT IS COMPLETELY NORMAL!
I also found out who my real friends are. I had a lot of people tell me they "weren't good with death" I say NO ONE IS GOOD WITH DEATH. Its hard even when you hear that your high school bully has died. I had a lot of people disappear from my life and then months afterwards want to talk. I felt really hurt by this. You cant not be there when I needed you and then come back when I'm 'stable'. I also had people I had not talked to in years, or weren't on great terms, come to me and offer their support.

The best advice I can give someone even though there is nothing you can really do, if you are on the outside of the situation, just offer the person to talk or hang out. They probably wont take you up on it, but that little gesture fits in there.

If you are on the inside, its okay to be angry, (i certainly still am from time to time) its okay to cry ( i still do about once a week.) and its okay to be alone and just do things you want to do. Also I highly encourage talking to a therapist or someone like that. After my mother died, I reached out to everyone that had lost a parent. Which can be like your own little support group. Hell, make a facebook page for it! but I realized that people can grieve a healthy way or a very unhealthy way with drugs and alcohol.

Speaking of crying, make yourself cry, it releases a lot of emotions that might turn into anger later. Once a week I tried to, by myself, watch a movie that made me bawl just to get some of that out of my system! It worked!


If anyone ever wants to talk about losing anyone, regardless if it is a parent or not, please contact me!


In honor of my mother, I'm going to post my favorite pictures of her.

my mother and me at a very young age. I just loved the this picture captures how much I was always next to my mom.

Her and I at an even younger age. 

WOW, My mom and I after her wedding to my step father, and after I just had my son.

Three thanksgivings ago

My mom and I three years ago

a rare group shot of my whole immediate family, this happened the year she died.